Being "driven" is one thing, but to wake up in a full sprint to try to tackle the day before it tackles me, is another. Jump out of bed, make my bed, warn the devil that I'm up, start a podcast and poke myself in the eye to overcome blindness with -7.75 contact lenses (yah....that's like 20/300+ "didn't see that wall coming" vision). Pour myself into my workout clothes, tie on my running (more like walking fast and crawling home) shoes and GOOOO!! That's been my routine - PUSH!! FORWARD!! FASTER!!
Even if I listened to a podcast on my walk, my own stressful thoughts seemed to override and interrupt anyway. And, the guilt that I haven't managed to "get it all done" and live in complete bliss like "Martha" would weigh me down. "Why can't you get caught up? Everyone else has a dust-bunny-free home, a weed-less yard, a perfect garage, meal planning done for the week, is in their perfectly-toned weight-zone, finished their handwritten thank you notes, connected with all of their friends this week and still managed to touch-up the paint on the front door....why can't I?
When my mind finally exhausted itself one day, I sat down in my flowerbed and looked up to catch my breath. The birds were singing so beautifully to me and I'd been missing it! Why had they chosen my
yard? Were they in Sunny & Rich's yard too? Was it crazy to think that God had sent them to me specifically or that, at God's command, the flowers on my walk bloomed right before I arrived? I find hearts from Him everywhere! You laugh! But, do you know He didn't leave these love notes just for me??
What's happening all around us that we miss ALL the time? When was the last time you indulged your 7 year old self and laid down in the grass to look up at the clouds? No time for that? How about closing your eyes right now and telling me what the sky looks like right now. Do you know if there are clouds or not? What color is the sky today? WE ARE COMPLETELY MISSING THE GOOD STUFF!! As kids we weren't all caught up in the stress that we create for ourselves. I even realized as a teenager that stress wasn't a "thing" that we could physically carry around. It was something that we created in our minds that became unbearably heavy. WE CREATED IT! "How silly!" I thought. But, here I am... A silly adult carrying around invisible heavy stuff!
Do yourself a favor and put a sticky note on your dashboard. Remind yourself to "LOOK UP." Breathe! Step out of all the roles you fulfill everyday and indulge the kid inside that knew how to enjoy the day. That's when summer lasted forever! Do you remember?
I used to tell one of my stressed-out clients to get out from behind his desk and go outside to count bugs. He would look at me like I'd lost my mind! But, I was very serious. We have to get out of our heads and balance our thoughts with being still. Stop our minds from spinning so fast. "Be still and know that I am God, [and we are not]" says Psalm 46:10. The emphasis is mine, but truly I walk through life everyday with the intention of giving God his job back and taking in the goodness He lovingly surrounds me with.
Yes, I hear the birds. Try it!
~ Kim Kennedy Hoff