My plate has been overflowing for quite awhile. "You need to say NO and not do so much," my Grandmother says often. I just don't have the heart to tell her that most of what I'm doing relates to caring for the details of her life. There really isn't much that I can say NO about. Should I say NO to handling her insurance claims, banking, medical team meetings, organizing her meds, providing personal care items, keeping family informed, managing her personal property, visiting her daily and reassuring her through the traumatic and emotional "ups and downs" of end-of-life living... I'm not sure what to say NO to. Ugh! But, I will say this after doing more than my fair share of 8 second rides in these rodeos with both of my parents and now, my Gram... You can only do so much before you're completely ineffective and functioning as a complete scatterbrain, running on sleep deprivation and full adrenal fatigue. I might not be able to say NO as often as I'd like, but saying YES has become a necessity!
YES TO ME! YES - I will keep my dancing appointment on Wednesday nights! YES - I will go walking every single day with no phone, no music, no podcast interruptions. YES - I will eat well, cook for myself, drink more water, eat less sugar. YES - I will connect with other people versus isolating. YES - I will read more great books and challenge myself to try something new. YES - I will go to the lake for the day where I have no phone service and soak up some sun! YES - I will commit to writing the rest of my book. YES - I will put down my deposit for the coastal camping retreat in August! YES - I will take myself out of town for the weekend with no agenda and YES - I will "buy myself flowers!" Miley Cyrus doesn't have it all wrong! We have to say YES to the right things as much as we say NO to the things that overload us.
Right now, I'm coming back from complete burnout. My nerves are shot and waking up in the middle of the night with a racing heart IS NOT OKAY!! Sitting up listening to to a sermon on BEING ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING or listening to some sweet soul on YouTube talk me down from a panic attack at 3:00am while I color, is not in my plan of things to learn to do well! Sleeping through the night like a baby (I don't know whose baby did that - not mine!), but you know the saying, would be FANTASTIC. And, waking up peaceful, without a screaming to-do list flying like a wild swarm of hornets through my mind, is a HUGE GOAL!
AWARENESS IS PART OF THE HEALING PROCESS. We have to realize when enough is enough and begin to throw some fun back on the scale. Everyone may not like having to wait for your YES to come their way. And, your priority list may not make sense to everyone else but if it's your skills they are waiting on, they should be happy for you to use them well on their behalf. Being completely depleted leaves NADA dang good thang for anyone. The YES we say to ourselves is not selfish, but smart and actually allows us to bring our recharged best self to everyone else at the right time. We can't fly the plane if we're in the back handing out drinks to make all of the passengers happy!
BY-THE-WAY!!! A complaint from someone in my book really means they are offering to do it better for you themselves next time!!
Balance what you can, but KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO IN FAVOR OF A HEALTHIER YES!
~ Kim Kennedy Hoff
P.S. Contact me for the links to great sermons on anxiety, finding balance in your life or to find the "Calm Down - Anxiety Talk Down."